Funny School Poems

Why do I love to write funny school poems?

One reason is that I visit a lot of elementary schools. Better yet, I used to be an elementary school kid. There are always a lot of weird things going on at school. Homework disappears. Visitors (like me, now an adult and a visiting poet ) come to shake things up, teachers are absent, substitutes are psychologically tortured. Ask any kid, it's all in a day's work. That's what these funny school poems are all about.

And good news, all the funny poems about school on this page are free! Read them. Share them - as long as they are for your own personal use and gift-giving. Please see our terms of use.

Science Day

A monkey came for science day
with people from the zoo,
who showed us slides of chimps and apes
and told us what they do.

The monkey stayed around a while
and made himself a pest.
And worst of all: he scored much higher
than me on our test.

by Denise Rodgers

The next funny poem about school deals with those brave and underpaid souls who spend their days on the front lines, substituting for absent teachers. I think they deserve a special poem, just for them. Don't you?

The Substitute

Hurray! We heard our teacher
cannot be with us today.
Instead, we'll have a substitute.
(We'll make her earn her pay.)

Michael will throw spit wads,
and Brandon will eat chalk.
Patrick will poke David,
and all of us will talk.

We smiled and laughed with pleasure
as these thoughts filled every head,
until we found our teacher
sent the principal instead!

by Denise Rodgers

The next two funny school poems are a set. I wrote the first one starting with the obvious line, "The dog ate my homework." Here it is:

The Dog Ate My Homework

The dog ate my homework
just like it was kibble.
He started up slow
with a cute little nibble
and then scarfed it down
with a burp and a snort.
How was he to know
that my special report
was due here this morning
precisely at 8:00.
So now it is eaten.
I'm sorry it's late.
But what can you do
when your dog needs a snack
and your stapled report
comes under attack?
I told him to stop
but he just wouldn't mind.
When my dog is hungry,
he's not very kind.
I'll bring it tomorrow,
and you'll see it then.
So long as my dog
isn't hungry again.

by Denise Rodgers

Yes, I Ate His Homework

Yes, I ate his homework.
You think I'm a liar!
So kind of you, teacher,
to go and inquire.
It's just that when hungry,
despite what you think,
there's nothing more tasty
than paper and ink,
unless it's some slippers
or brand-new soft shoes,
or maybe a sheet
of some basted raw chews.
I ate all the homework
and part of the couch.
There's so much to eat
and I'm hardly a slouch.
So that is my story.
I'll swear that it's true.
Excuse me for now,
I have text books to chew.

by Denise Rodgers

If you like the funny poems on this page,
check out the funny poems in my books,
A Little Bit of Nonsense.
Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme

If you enjoyed these funny school poems,
please go to my home page.

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