Short Funny Poems

Short funny poems are more of a challenge than you might think. You have to paint a complete picture and come to a punch line -- in preferably four lines or less.

They're short. They're snappy. They're funny -- and fun to write. Now that I have a place to share them, I plan to write more. So visit again soon!

And good news, all the poems on this page are free! Read them. Share them - as long as they are for your own personal use and gift-giving. For more information, please read our terms of use.

My Long-Eared Dog
My long-eared dog is very sweet.
He loves to lick my stinky feet.
And that is why I’d use my mace
before I’d let her lick my face.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved

Art by Julie Martin

(Okay, so I exaggerated a bit. I'd never use mace on one of my sweet doggies. But it made a swell line-ender, don't you think?)

Ahem. We can only imagine where the idea for the next short funny poem came about. I might have had a cold; I really don't remember. Obviously, I was optimistic when I wrote it. I assumed that it would one day grace the pages of a book. Who knows, it still might happen. . .


Phlegm
Phlegm is the most gruesome word
that you'll find in this book.
It has a hidden silent G
that some say stands for Gook.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved

No matter how many times I read it, I still want to clear my throat!

Sometimes a short funny poem will just pop into your head fully formed. That's what happened with "Sweet Tooth Andy." I made a list of possible titles and once I wrote "Sweet Tooth Andy," the rest of the poem just wrote itself.

Sweet Tooth Andy
Have you heard of sweet-tooth Andy?
Makes his bed with sugar candy.
And it never fails . . . by dawn
all of Andy's bed is gone.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved

Art by Julie Martin

The following short funny poem also came into being as a result of list-making. When I can't think of something to write, I make a list of titles that might sound interesting. Also, I'm kind of fond of quirky people. While I appear pretty conventional on the outside, I'm fairly quirky myself. As you will see, (shortly), Marcus Spout is not your average guy...

Marcus Spout
Oh here's the tale of Marcus Spout
who wears his suit coat inside out.
It isn't custom he's declining;
it's just that he adores the lining.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved




Coming up is another short funny poem that is the result of playing "what if." What if there was a housekeeper that was incredibly inept? How might she iron her clothes? The picture -- and the poem -- answer that question.

This poem is featured in my first book, A Little Bit of Nonsense.

Silly Sally
When Silly Sally irons her clothes,
they come out looking awful.
She did not read the label and
her iron was meant to waffle.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved
Art by Julie Martin

The next short funny poem is on page 21 (along with "Silly Sally") of my book, A Little Bit of Nonsense . It was part of a collection rejected by an editor who was -- you guessed it -- bald! I found out later in a phone conversation with him that he found it offensive. (Never published with that guy!) It goes to show you that humor is in the ear of the beholder!

Sudden Baldness
"Oh my!" the portly gent called out.
"I cannot find my hair.
I washed and put it out to dry
and now it isn't there!"

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense All Rights Reserved
Photographer unknown

Next is a short funny poem, (maybe not short enough, but I'm going to squeak this one in because the title is so appropriate).

I wrote this one several years back as a challenge to myself. I didn't quite meet my challenge, but that created the punch line...