Short Funny Poems

Short funny poems are more of a challenge than you might think. You have to paint a complete picture and come to a punch line -- in preferably four lines or less.

They're short. They're snappy. They're funny -- and fun to write. Now that I have a place to share them, I plan to write more. So visit again soon!

And good news, all the poems on this page are free! Read them. Share them - as long as they are for your own personal use and gift-giving. For more information, please read our terms of use.

dog long ears


My Long-Eared Dog
My long-eared dog is very sweet.
He loves to lick my stinky feet.
And that is why I’d use my mace
before I’d let her lick my face.

by Denise Rodgers



Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved

Art by Julie Martin


A Little Bit of Nonsense by Denise Rodgers


(Okay, so I exaggerated a bit. I'd never use mace on one of my sweet doggies. But it made a swell line-ender, don't you think?)

Ahem. We can only imagine where the idea for the next short funny poem came about. I might have had a cold; I really don't remember. Obviously, I was optimistic when I wrote it. I assumed that it would one day grace the pages of a book. Who knows, it still might happen. . .


Phlegm
Phlegm is the most gruesome word
that you'll find in this book.
It has a hidden silent G
that some say stands for Gook.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved


No matter how many times I read it, I still want to clear my throat!

Sometimes a short funny poem will just pop into your head fully formed. That's what happened with "Sweet Tooth Andy." I made a list of possible titles and once I wrote "Sweet Tooth Andy," the rest of the poem just wrote itself.

Sweet-Tooth Andy


Sweet Tooth Andy
Have you heard of sweet-tooth Andy?
Makes his bed with sugar candy.
And it never fails . . . by dawn
all of Andy's bed is gone.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved

Art by Julie Martin



The following short funny poem also came into being as a result of list-making. When I can't think of something to write, I make a list of titles that might sound interesting. Also, I'm kind of fond of quirky people. While I appear pretty conventional on the outside, I'm fairly quirky myself. As you will see, (shortly), Marcus Spout is not your average guy...

Marcus Spout
Oh here's the tale of Marcus Spout
who wears his suit coat inside out.
It isn't custom he's declining;
it's just that he adores the lining.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved




Coming up is another short funny poem that is the result of playing "what if." What if there was a housekeeper that was incredibly inept? How might she iron her clothes? The picture -- and the poem -- answer that question.

This poem is featured in my first book, A Little Bit of Nonsense.

Silly Sally


Silly Sally
When Silly Sally irons her clothes,
they come out looking awful.
She did not read the label and
her iron was meant to waffle.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved
Art by Julie Martin


The next short funny poem is on page 21 (along with "Silly Sally") of my book, A Little Bit of Nonsense . It was part of a collection rejected by an editor who was -- you guessed it -- bald! I found out later in a phone conversation with him that he found it offensive. (Never published with that guy!) It goes to show you that humor is in the ear of the beholder!

toupee


Sudden Baldness
"Oh my!" the portly gent called out.
"I cannot find my hair.
I washed and put it out to dry
and now it isn't there!"

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense All Rights Reserved
Photographer unknown


Next is a short funny poem, (maybe not short enough, but I'm going to squeak this one in because the title is so appropriate).

I wrote this one several years back as a challenge to myself. I didn't quite meet my challenge, but that created the punch line...


Short Poem
I have to write a poem today,
a short one, four lines long.
Something cute and breezy
with some rhythm, like a song.
The words must be quite catchy,
but I think it's kind of late.
These catchy words are breezy,
but this line is number eight!

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

All Rights Reserved





Some of the poems on this page are from my book,
A Little Bit of Nonsense. Many were written "just because." As a matter of fact, I don't think that a poem has to have any more justification than that! It is my plan to write more, so be sure to visit again. These short funny poems are as much fun as chocolate candy -- with absolutely no calories. It doesn't get any better than that!

For more short funny poems, please return to my HOME page.


Or go directly to . . .

Funny Simile Poems

Funny Sonnets

Funny Rhyming Poems

Onomatopoeia Poems