Funny Rhyming Poems

Here are a few of my favorite funny rhyming poems. They are all from my first book, A Little Bit of Nonsense . All poems on this site are copyrighted, but may be shared for personal use. Please see our terms of use.

Slicing Salami was the first of my funny rhyming poems to actually get published in a book. It went into print in 1999 in Jack Prelutsky's 20th Century Children's Poetry Treasury.

The inspiration for this poem was my mother's observation of a man with a prominent snoot (big nose). Her exact words were, to my recollection (I was probably about four years old at the time), "Did you see that man? His nose was so sharp you could slice a salami with it!"

Great image. Wonderful metaphor. Thanks, Mom!

Now here's the poem . . .

Salami Guy
Slicing Salami
The strangest, strange stranger I met in my life
was the man who made use of his nose as a knife.
He'd slice up salami, tomatoes and cheese
at the tip of his nose with phenomenal ease.

He'd buy food in bulk at incredible prices
and then use his nose to reduce it to slices.
His wife ran away and I know that he'll miss her.
The woman was frightened that one day he'd kiss her!

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers
A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved
Art by Julie Martin





His Look Is Wild is a funny rhyming poem inspired by a man I saw while out walking my cocker spaniel. I'm not a fan of facial hair, but this man took it to the ridiculous.

He had so much hair on his face and head that it would take an excavation crew (or a barber) to see what he really looked like. I rushed home to write this poem.





wild beard Fred

His Look is Wild
His look is wild.
His name is Fred.
His hair completely hides his head.
Take a peek.
(Show no surprise.)
You cannot even see his eyes.
Oh no, it must be as I feared.
His mouth is covered by his beard.
How does he breathe?
How does he eat?
How does he see to cross the street?
Perhaps he can't see people stare
and cannot find the barber chair.
Until he makes a barber stop
he will remain less man than mop.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved

Art by Julie Martin





There's Something Growing in Our House is a funny rhyming poem inspired by the fact that I'm not always the greatest housekeeper. (I try to be too busy writing -- or working on this web site!) No more hints about this poem, or I might give away the punch line.






There's Something Growing in Our House
There's something growing in our house.
It's blue and quite well fed.
It's majorly disgusting.
(That is what my sister said.)

This monster in our kitchen has
not uttered yet one word.
So, if it growls or grumbles loud
well, this we've not yet heard.

It has no form or function -- not
an eye, a nose or snout.
I think it will be leaving when
our freezer is cleaned out.

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved




And speaking of housekeeping, there is the matter of moths. This funny rhyming poem was inspired by a disappointing trip to my closet. A moth had feasted on my wool blazer over the summer and I was really ticked!

It's hard to take it out on a moth (who probably wasn't even alive anymore), so I did the next best thing. I wrote a poem.





Moth72k

A Note to the Moth Who Ate My Sweater
I hope that you are feeling better
now that you are full of sweater.
But, frankly, don't you think it's rude
to use my clothes as common food?
I'd rather share my bread and rolls
than deal with sweaters full of holes.
The next time you intend to dine
on sweaters that are clearly mine,
I must insist -- call you to task --
don't take a bite unless you ask.
By now, I think you surely know
the answer is a big, loud,
NO!

by Denise Rodgers

Copyright© Denise Rodgers

A Little Bit of Nonsense
All Rights Reserved

Art by Julie Martin





All the poems on this page are from my book of funny rhyming poems,
A Little Bit of Nonsense. But there are many more from this book and from my second book, Great Lakes Rhythm & Rhyme.

Check back to the HOME page for a wide and wild selection of
Funny Rhyming Poems.

or you may go directly to

Funny Twisted Poems

Funny Limericks

Funny School Poems

Funny Onomatopoeia Poems

A Little Bit of Nonsense