Funny Thanksgiving PoemsThe first of the funny Thanksgiving poems on this page is Turkey Turkey. Here's a hint: it's all about the soy. 
Turkey Turkey Turkey, Turkey, full and fat. November's near. You'll soon go splat! They'll roast you up and slice you thin. Oh what a mess you're surely in. Mixed with stuffing and some sauce. It's plain to see the cook is boss. But what would truly give you joy. . . would be a turkey made of soy! by Denise Rodgers I wrote the second of these funny Thanksgiving poems ages ago -- before I had children. (They're adults now; it's been a while.) This poem was inspired by my dad, who really did grow up in Poland. He was a city boy, lived in Krakow. But when his family went to the countryside, he was chased by wild turkeys, who apparently enjoyed nipping him in the butt. I could never understand why this would prevent him from eating the bird. After all, wouldn't revenge be sweet? In the mean time, please enjoy the next funny Thanksgiving poem. 
The Turkey Gives Thanks Thanksgiving is my favorite feast. The table's set, the napkins creased. We always have a great big crowd With uncles, aunts and children loud. The grownups shoo us to our chairs With pushing hands and parent stares. We wait to eat -- but this part's quirky. Our main dish is never, ever turkey! Our grandpa will not eat this bird. On this he gave his solemn word. Years ago when he was young, He vowed it not to pass his tongue. As a boy, he lived beside The rolling Polish countryside. The turkeys (this is so unkind) Would chase and bite his small behind. So even though it's quite the norm, He shuns the bird in every form. I understand how grandpa feels And how it's changed his life-long meals. But me, I'd rather take attack. Once a year, I'd bite them back! by Denise Rodgers The third of these funny Thanksgiving poems is Two Turkeys. It is about a dysfunctional family. (It was inspired by my mother-in-law who insisted on bringing her turkey to our Thanksgiving meal, despite several pointed conversations, several days in advance, indicating it wasn't necessary.) Normal families are boring, no? Enjoy. 
Two TurkeysWe have two turkeys at our house 'cause Mom and Gramma fight. Neither one of them believes the other roasts it right. There's also two of stuffing, two of home-made berry sauce. Let's face it, there are two of each, 'cause both of them are boss. We eat it all , some food from both, in order to be nice. We also make quite sure that when we burp -- that we burp twice! by Denise Rodgers The last of the funny Thanksgiving poems on this page is all about the turkey. In this case, it's no turkey (much like in the first poem). This is another one for my dad, who still doesn't like turkey! 
No Turkey My father hates Thanksgiving. It's all about the stuffing. He says it smells like day-old socks. So on his plate goes nothing. He grits his teeth and goes to bed. It gives my mother grief. I think next year, this holiday, instead we'll eat roast beef! by Denise Rodgers
I hope you enjoyed these funny Thanksgiving poems. |